1:1 PRIVATE COACHING
The Take It or Leave It Method
Learn to drink less without relying on willpower or someone else's rules.
A 16-week private coaching program to help you change the habits and patterns behind automatic drinking—so alcohol feels less automatic and you have more choice in the moments that matter.
Free, confidential and no pressure.
IS THIS YOU?You don't want to give up drinking.
You just want it to feel different.
You want to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, drinks with friends, or a cocktail on holiday. You're not necessarily looking for a life without alcohol.
You just don't want drinking to feel so automatic anymore.
MAYBE YOU WANT TO…
✓ Have one or two drinks without automatically reaching for another.
✓ Stop drinking most nights just because it's become part of your routine.
✓ Have a stressful day without feeling like you need a drink to take the edge off.
✓ Say to others, “I don't feel like drinking tonight,” and have it be no big deal.
✓ Sometimes, just not want the drink at all.
The goal is not to become better at managing alcohol.
It is to become less managed by it.
Deciding ahead how much you want to drink can be useful practice. But the aim is not to spend the rest of your life counting, controlling, or negotiating with yourself about alcohol.
The aim is to practice different choices often enough that the old patterns lose their strength—so a drink can become something you are free to take or leave.
Take It or Leave It at a glance
16 weeks of private, one-to-one coaching
✓ 16 private coaching sessions.
✓ Foundational video lessons and exercises.
✓ Exercises and worksheets for real-life application.
✓ A practical four-step process for real life.
✓ Personalized coaching around your habits, thoughts, emotions, and sticking points.
✓ A plan for moving forward after the program.
Investment: $2,400
or 3 payments of $850
Payment plan available.
Free, confidential and no pressure.
WHY IS THIS SO HARD?You probably already know how much you want to drink.
The harder part is following through.
You can decide you'll only have two drinks.
You can tell yourself you won't drink tonight.
You can plan not to pour a glass while you're making dinner.
You can know exactly what you want your drinking to look like.
But then 6pm comes.
It's been a long day. You're making dinner and a glass of wine sounds good. Everyone else is drinking. Or you've had the first one and suddenly another sounds like a very good idea.
That's where knowing what you want isn't always enough.
This isn't a willpower problem.
If drinking has become connected with certain times of day, situations, thoughts or feelings, simply deciding to drink less doesn't make those patterns disappear.
You need to learn what to do when the old patterns show up.
THE SKILLSWhen you know how to handle the moments that usually lead to drinking, you don't have to depend on willpower to get you through them.
These aren't qualities some people naturally have and others don't.
They're skills you can learn and practice, so you're better equipped to make a different choice when it matters.
This is why drinking less is a skill.
You can want another drink without having to have one.
An urge doesn't have to become a decision. You can learn to let the desire for another drink be there without automatically acting on it.
You can be around other people drinking and still make your own choice.
You can become more comfortable doing what you actually want, rather than drinking because everyone else is or because it feels awkward not to.
A difficult day doesn't have to decide whether you drink.
You can learn other ways to handle stress, frustration or discomfort so that reaching for a drink isn't your only way to feel better.
You can trust yourself to do what you said you would.
Instead of repeatedly deciding you'll drink differently and then wondering why you didn't, you can learn what gets in the way and how to respond differently when it does.
And something bigger starts happening.
You spend less time negotiating with yourself about drinking. You have more confidence in your choices. And alcohol does not have to do so much of the work when it comes to stress, relaxation, reward or being social.
Alcohol starts to take up less space in your life.
You don’t just learn how to drink less.
You learn how to rely on alcohol less.
HOW TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT WORKSWe start by understanding the pattern.
Then we build new ways of responding within it.
Drinking often becomes automatic in very specific moments: when work ends, dinner begins, stress peaks, friends are drinking, or you finally have time to yourself.
Once we understand those patterns, we can begin to interrupt them. Not through shame or rigid rules, but by creating more choice in the moments where alcohol has become the default.
Making dinner does not have to mean wine. A stressful day does not have to end with a drink. And having one does not have to lead to another.
A plan can help—but it is not the whole solution.
The challenge is doing something differently when the old response still feels familiar, appealing or automatic. That's where we start to uncover what's getting in the way and build the skills that help you follow through.
Coaching helps us understand what is happening beneath the habit and practice responses that make it possible to act differently in the moment.
THE PATTERN WE CHANGE
01 · NOTICE THE TRIGGER
See when drinking starts to feel automatic: after work, while making dinner, at social events, on weekends, or in moments of stress.
02 · UNDERSTAND THE PULL
Explore what alcohol seems to offer in that moment—relief, reward, confidence, connection, or a way to switch off.
03 · INTERRUPT THE ROUTINE
Practice creating a pause and responding differently before the old habit takes over.
04 · BUILD NEW ASSOCIATIONS
Repetition helps your brain learn that you can relax, connect, celebrate, or end the day without a drink being the default.
This is how an automatic pattern begins to change.
You interrupt it. You respond differently. And you do it again and again, until the old associations begin to lose their pull.
But knowing what to practice doesn't mean it will always be easy to do.
THE DEEPER WORKThe practice is simple.
What gets in the way is personal.
You might know exactly what you planned to do and still find yourself wanting the drink.
Maybe making dinner doesn't feel quite right without wine. Maybe you've come to believe you need a drink to relax after a stressful day. Maybe being the only person not drinking feels uncomfortable. Or maybe, once you've had one, the desire for another feels surprisingly strong.
See the patterns you can't change when you're not noticing them.
AWARENESS
Understand the associations and triggers that have made drinking feel automatic.
HABITS
Question thoughts like “I deserve this,” “I need this to relax,” or “I won't have as much fun without it.”
BELIEFS
Learn to experience uncomfortable emotions without automatically reaching for a drink.
EMOTIONS
Change the story you tell yourself about who you are and what you're capable of around alcohol.
IDENTITY
The foundations are the same. How we apply them is personal.
What gets in the way of drinking less is different for everyone. We'll focus on the patterns, beliefs, emotions and situations that are getting in your way and build the skills you need to respond differently.
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT16 weeks to build the freedom to take a drink or leave it.
The Take It or Leave It Method is a practical approach to changing your relationship with alcohol. In my 16-week private coaching program, you'll learn the method through foundational teaching, real-life practice and personalized one-to-one coaching.
There's a clear process.
But how we apply it is personal to you.
What's includedImagine, if 16 weeks from now, you could...
Stop when you intended to.
Have the drink you genuinely wanted without automatically turning it into another.
Understand what is behind the drink.
Recognize the habits, thoughts, emotions and situations behind your drinking and know how to respond differently.
Want a drink without having to have it.
Experience the desire for another without immediately acting on it or fighting with yourself.
Rely on alcohol less.
Build other ways of handling stress, discomfort, reward and social situations.
Trust yourself more.
Make your own decisions around alcohol and become more confident in your ability to follow through.
Take It or Leave It
✓ 16 private coaching sessions
✓ Take It or Leave It Foundations
Short video lessons covering the core concepts and skills.
✓ Exercises and worksheets
To help you apply what you are learning in real life.
✓ The four-step practice
A practical process to use between sessions.
✓ Personalized coaching, tools and exercises
Based on your own habits, thoughts, emotions and sticking points.
✓ A personal plan for moving forward
To support you after our 16 weeks together.
INVESTMENT
$2,400
or 3 payments of $850
Free, confidential and no pressure.
Less thinking about drinking. Less negotiating with yourself. More genuine choice.
What People Are Saying
“Mary Ellen has been hugely influential on me, helping me change my mindset entirely, take back control of my drinking, and improve so many other things in my life.”
— Rupert“I always leave our sessions feeling at ease and less anxious, with a deeper understanding of myself and equipped with the tools I need to take the next steps forward.”
— Zoe“Mary Ellen knew when to ask the right questions and could so often see clearly what the real issue was when it was foggy for me. She made it easy for me to open up and be truly honest.”
— johannaABOUT MARY ELLENI know what it's like to want to drink less without wanting to stop drinking.
Changing my own relationship with alcohol eventually led me to become a certified Life and Overdrinking Coach and later a certified Integral Coach.
Today, I combine professional coaching expertise with a personal understanding of what it's like to change a drinking habit when your goal isn't necessarily to give up alcohol.
I won't tell you what your drinking should look like. I'll help you build the skills to decide that for yourself.
Questions About Take It or Leave It
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No. Take It or Leave It is for people who want to change their relationship with alcohol without necessarily giving it up completely.
Some clients choose not to drink for a period of time. Others want to drink less often, stop when they intended to, or feel more comfortable choosing not to drink in particular situations. The goal is not to follow someone else’s rules—it is to build the freedom to take a drink or leave it.
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This is not a pass-or-fail programme. If you drink more than you intended, we use it as useful information—not evidence that you have failed.
Together, we look at what was happening in that moment: the situation, the habit, the urge, the thought or feeling involved. Then we use that understanding to decide what to practise next. No judgement—just curiosity, learning and practical problem-solving.
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You will have one, 60-minute private coaching session each week, plus a small amount of time between sessions to reflect, practice and use the tools in your real life.
This is not designed to become another full-time project. The work happens in the moments that matter: at the end of the day, while making dinner, when you feel stressed, when you are with other people, or when you notice the urge for another drink.
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Many people I work with have tried rules, dry months, drink limits or promises to themselves before. If those approaches have not lasted, it does not mean you are incapable of changing.
The challenge is often not knowing what you want to do. It is learning how to respond when an old pattern still feels familiar, appealing or automatic. That is the part we work on together.
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Take It or Leave It is private coaching for people who want to understand and change habitual drinking patterns. It is not a 12-step programme, group fellowship, medical treatment, detoxification support or a substitute for specialist addiction care.
There are no labels to adopt and no prescribed definition of what your drinking must look like. We focus on your goals, the situations that make drinking feel automatic, and the practical skills that help you respond differently.
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Take It or Leave It is not appropriate for everyone. It is coaching, not medical treatment, detoxification support or a substitute for specialist addiction care.
If you are physically dependent on alcohol, experience withdrawal symptoms, need alcohol in the morning, have had alcohol-related seizures or hallucinations, or are concerned about reducing or stopping safely, please speak with a doctor or qualified addiction service before making changes to your drinking.
If you are unsure whether this program is right for you, you are welcome to book a free consultation so we can talk through the appropriate next step.
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The consultation is a private, no-pressure conversation. We will talk about what is happening with your drinking now, what you want to change, what you have tried before, and what tends to get in the way.
I will explain how Take It or Leave It works, you can ask any questions you have, and we will see whether working together feels like the right fit.
There is no obligation to sign up.
Take the next step
Ready to make alcohol matter less?
If you are ready to spend less time thinking about drinking and feel more confident in the choices you make around alcohol, let’s talk.
In your free consultation, we will talk about what is happening with your drinking now, what you would like to change, and what has been getting in the way. You can ask any questions you have, and we will see whether working together feels like the right fit.
Free, confidential and no pressure.