ABOUT MeHi, I’m Mary Ellen
I know what it's like to want to drink less—without wanting to give it up.
I didn’t want to stop drinking entirely. I wanted drinking to feel different.
I help high-functioning adults change the habits and patterns behind automatic drinking, so alcohol can take up less space in their lives.
MY STORYFrom the outside, my life looked fine.
I had a full life, a husband, children, work, and plenty to be grateful for. I also genuinely enjoyed wine: a glass while making dinner, something to look forward to at the end of the day, and a familiar part of socializing.
But over time, I noticed that regular drinking was affecting how I showed up in the life I cared about. I had less patience with my children, argued more with my husband, and regularly woke up low in energy. I was already not naturally a morning person, but drinking most nights made that much harder.
I also noticed that the anxiety and overwhelm I was trying to take the edge off in the evening could feel worse—not better—when drinking became routine.
Nothing was falling apart.
But I knew I was not showing up in my life in the way I wanted to. And I knew drinking was part of it.
I did not want to give up wine with dinner or drinks with friends. I wanted to drink less often, stop having more than I intended, and stop feeling as though alcohol was something I automatically reached for.
Why plans did not stickI knew what I wanted to do.
I just didn’t know how to make it stick.
Over the years, I tried to cut back. Sometimes I did. And then, eventually, I would find myself right back where I started.
I could decide in the morning that I was not going to drink that night. Then 6pm would come. I would be making dinner, feeling tired, perhaps coming off a stressful day, and suddenly the wine I had decided I did not want that morning sounded like a very good idea.
Or I would decide I was only going to have one or two drinks, then find myself wanting another.
For a long time, I thought the answer was to try harder.
There is a big difference between not being able to change and not knowing how to change.
MY PATH INTO THIS WORK
I trained as a coach before I specialized in overdrinking.
I began training as an Integral and Life Coach because I was fascinated by how people change: how thoughts, emotions, habits, and beliefs influence what we do; why we can know exactly what we want and still struggle to do it; and how we can learn to respond differently.
As part of my coach training, I studied a specific approach to changing overdrinking and began applying what I was learning to my own life.
I became more aware of when I was drinking and why. I learned to recognize the thoughts and feelings that made a drink seem appealing. I learned that wanting a drink did not mean I had to have one. And I began interrupting routines that had become so familiar I barely noticed them anymore.
It made an enormous difference in my own relationship with alcohol. The more I practiced what I was learning, the more interested I became in helping other people do the same.
After two years of working as a Life Coach, I chose to focus specifically on helping people change their relationship with drinking.
THE DIFFERENCEWhat changed was not simply how much I drank.
I still drink today. I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner and drinks with friends. I do not believe alcohol needs to disappear from my life for me to have a healthier relationship with it.
The difference is that it no longer occupies the place in my life that it once did. I do not automatically reach for it to switch off, reward myself, deal with a difficult day, or make an ordinary evening feel complete.
Sometimes I want a drink. Sometimes I do not. And neither feels like a big deal.
The goal is not to become better at managing alcohol.
It is to become less managed by it.
That is the freedom behind Take It or Leave It.
I am less interested in helping you control alcohol.
I want to help it matter less.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOUR COACHING
Planning matters. Learning to follow through matters. Deciding ahead how much you are going to drink and counting drinks is very useful.
But that is the practice, not the destination.
Two people can both stop after two drinks and have completely different experiences.
One may be thinking: “I really want another one, but I said I would stop at two.”
Another may simply think: “No, I’m good.”
The deeper work is understanding why the drink feels so important in the first place—and building other ways to handle stress, reward, relaxation, difficult feelings and social situations.
You do not just learn how to drink less.
You learn how to rely on alcohol less.
TRAINING & BACKGROUND
Coach Certification, The Life Coach School · May 2022
Integral® Coaching Training for Development, UCT Graduate School of Business Centre for Coaching · October 2021
I will not tell you what your drinking should look like.
You may want to drink occasionally. You may want wine with dinner sometimes. You may want to drink socially and not during the week. Or you may not yet know exactly what you want.
That is okay.
My role is not to decide for you. It is to help you understand your patterns, build the skills you need, and become more confident in your ability to make your own decisions and follow through on them.
When things do not go according to plan, we get curious about why. We use what happened as information, learn from it, and practice again.
A NOTE ON SUITABILITY
Take It or Leave It is coaching—not medical treatment, detoxification support, or a substitute for specialist addiction care.
If you are physically dependent on alcohol, experience withdrawal symptoms, or are concerned about reducing or stopping safely, please speak with a doctor or qualified addiction service first.
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME
I’m an American living in Switzerland with my teenage sons, and I like being outside—especially walking along Lake Geneva, hiking in the mountains, and spending time with the people I love.
One of my favorite things about living here is having so much of Europe close by. I love exploring cities like London, Berlin, Rome, and Prague. But I’m just as happy closer to home with a good fondue—or a night in binge-watching Homeland or Only Murders in the Building.
I value good conversation, simple fun, and the moments that make life feel full without needing to be carefully planned or managed.
Take the next step
Ready to make alcohol matter less?
If you are ready to spend less time thinking about drinking and feel more confident in the choices you make around alcohol, let’s talk.
In a free, confidential consultation, we will talk about what is happening with your drinking now, what you would like to change, and whether Take It or Leave It is the right fit for you.
Free, confidential and no pressure.