Drink Less. Without Giving It Up.
Drinking less is a skill. And it's one you can learn.
If you're tired of drinking more than you planned, automatically pouring a drink at the end of the day, or reaching for another when you meant to stop, you don't need more discipline. You need to learn how to change the habits, thoughts and patterns that make it harder than it needs to be.
Does Any Of This Sound Familiar?
You planned to have one drink, but somehow had three
You tell yourself you won’t drink tonight, then find yourself pouring a glass anyway
You wake up thinking, "Why did I do that again?"
Pouring a drink has become part of your nightly routine, whether you really want one or not
You want to drink less, but don’t necessarily want to give it up completely
You're tired of thinking so much about how much you’re drinking
There’s a big difference between not being able to change and not knowing how to change.
If drinking has become automatic, deciding to drink less isn't always enough. You may know what you want to do differently without having learned the skills to handle the habits, urges, thoughts and emotions that make it difficult to follow through.
And skills can be learned.
What If…
You could stop when you wanted to, or skip the drink altogether, without the internal battle
You could make dinner without automatically reaching for a glass of wine
You woke up clear-headed without thinking, “Why did I do that again?”
You could have a stressful day without automatically thinking, “I need a drink.”
Someone could offer you another drink and you could genuinely think, “I'm good.”
Alcohol simply stopped feeling like such a big deal
The goal isn't to get better at saying no.
It's to genuinely want the drink less.
At first, drinking less takes intention. You may decide ahead how much you'll drink, count your drinks, and practice stopping when you said you will, even when you still want another.
But that's the practice, not the destination.
Over time, drinking can become connected with the end of the workday, making dinner, stress, reward, relaxation or being social. Changing your drinking means working with those patterns, not just controlling what ends up in your glass.
As you interrupt the old habits and build new skills, you can begin to rely on alcohol less. And with practice, those old associations can start to lose their pull.
The aim isn't to never want a drink again.
It's to reach a place where sometimes you want one, sometimes you don't, and neither feels like a big deal.
CLIENT STORYWHEN WE STARTED
“It helps me relax at home after a long day.”
“It provides structure to the day and enables a switch-over from work to play.”
“How desperate I am to be proud of myself.”
What can change when you learn to rely on alcohol less?
NOW
“I feel confident I can now do things I used to do drunk without any alcohol at all.”
“The belief that I need alcohol to ‘live’ certain experiences properly has gone.”
“For the first time in probably 30 years, I feel genuinely proud of myself.”
“James” · Client
Name changed for privacy
my approachDrinking less is simple.
That doesn't mean it's easy.
You can decide you'll only have two drinks. You can promise yourself you won't drink tonight. But knowing what you want to do isn't the same as knowing how to follow through when the urge for another shows up.
That's the part we work on.
THE PRACTICE01
DECIDE AHEAD
Choose whether you'll drink and how much.
02
FOLLOW YOUR PLAN
Practice doing what you decided.
03
ALLOW WHAT’S UNCOMFORTABLE
Learn to experience urges & emotions without automatically responding with a drink.
04
LEARN AND REPEAT
Use what happens as information, adjust, and practice again. And again.
THE DEEPER WORK
The steps are simple.
What gets in the way is personal.
Maybe it's the glass of wine that's become part of making dinner. The belief that you deserve a drink after a difficult day. The discomfort of being the only one not drinking. The urge for another once you've had the first. Or simply years of doing the same thing at the same time.
That's where coaching comes in.
Together, we uncover what's making it difficult for you to drink less and build the skills to change it.
WORK WITH ME
Take It or Leave It
One-to-one coaching to help you drink less without relying on willpower.
You don't have to give up alcohol to change the role it plays in your life.
In Take It or Leave It, we'll work together to understand what's driving your drinking, change the habits and patterns that keep you drinking more than you want, and build the skills to make different choices when it matters.
This isn't about following someone else's rules for drinking. It's about developing the skills to make your own decisions and follow through on them.
AboutHi, I’m Mary Ellen
For years, wine was simply part of my life. A glass while making dinner. A way to relax at the end of the day. Something I enjoyed socially and looked forward to. On the outside, there wasn't anything obviously wrong. My life was full and busy.
But I didn't like that drinking had become a nightly habit. I wanted to sleep better, wake up with more energy, have more patience, and set a better example for my kids.
I also wanted to stop feeling like drinking was something I had to think about, manage or negotiate with myself over.
I didn't want to give up alcohol. I wanted to change the role it played in my life.
Learning to do that wasn't about becoming more disciplined. I had to understand my habits, question what I'd come to believe about alcohol, and learn new ways to respond when I wanted a drink.
Today, I don't drink every night. I don't automatically pour wine while I'm making dinner. And I don't spend nearly as much time thinking about whether I should or shouldn't have a drink. Sometimes I want one. Sometimes I don't.
I've lived this work myself. And together with my professional training as a life, overdrinking and Integral Coach, that experience shapes the way I work with my clients today.
What People Are Saying
-
Mary Ellen has been hugely influential on me, helping me change my mindset entirely, take back control of my drinking, and improve so many other things in my life at the same time. Reducing my alcohol intake has not always been easy, but Mary Ellen has helped me enormously and I couldn't be more grateful.
— Rupert
-
Mary Ellen knew when to ask the right questions and could so often see clearly what the real issue was when it was foggy for me. She is an adept coach who made me feel very comfortable and trusting, so it was easy for me to open up and be truly honest
— Johanna
-
No matter what obstacles I’m dealing with that day or week, I always leave our sessions feeling at ease and less anxious, with a deeper understanding of myself and equipped with the “tools” I need to take the next steps forward
— Zoe
FAQs
-
No. My coaching is for people who want to drink less without necessarily giving up alcohol. Your goal might be drinking less often, drinking less when you do drink, or sometimes choosing not to drink at all. You decide what you want your drinking to look like.
When you address the root cause, you don't need constant willpower battles. The change feels natural, not forced.
-
That's very common. Knowing that you want to drink less and knowing how to do it consistently are two different things. We'll look at what actually happens when your plans go off track, then work with the habits, thoughts, urges and emotions that make it difficult to follow through.
-
You don't need to identify as having a drinking problem or want to stop drinking completely. You may simply know that you're drinking more often or more than you want to, thinking about alcohol more than you'd like, or finding it harder than you expected to change the habit.
-
No. This coaching is not addiction treatment, medical care or a recovery program, and it isn't appropriate for everyone.
If you're concerned that you may be physically dependent on alcohol, experience withdrawal symptoms when you stop or reduce your drinking, or aren't sure whether coaching is appropriate for you, please speak with a healthcare professional before making changes to your drinking. Stopping alcohol suddenly when you are physically dependent can be dangerous.
If you're unsure about your drinking, the WHO Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT) is a widely used screening tool that can help identify risky or harmful drinking and possible alcohol dependence. You can take the free, anonymous self-assessment online. The AUDIT is a screening tool, not a diagnosis.
AUDIT Check Your Drinking self-assessment
This is a screening tool, not a diagnosis.
-
We'll talk about what's happening with your drinking now, what you'd like to change and what's been getting in the way. I'll explain how I work, you can ask any questions you have, and we'll decide whether working together feels like a good fit. There's no obligation to sign up.
Take the next step
Ready to make alcohol matter less?
If you're ready to spend less time thinking about drinking and feel more confident in the choices you make around alcohol, let's talk.
On your free consultation, we'll talk about what's happening with your drinking now, what you'd like to change, and what's been getting in the way.
You can ask me any questions you have, and we'll see whether working together feels like the right fit.
Free, confidential and no pressure.